how I wish.

how I wish, if I could just choose to be selfish.
how I wish, if I could just don't care.
how I wish, if I could just don't even consider about it.
let them pick up their own craps that they left down in their works.
yeah, every lecturers/tutors wants us to work as a team.
but what if there's a parasite in the team?

1. they don't do their part.
2. they did their part but they didn't put any effort in it.
3. finally other people need to pick up their crap that they've done.

I just keep reminding myself.
"don't keep dwelling on the problem/situation. focus on finding the solution to that problem."
what do we end up getting every time during our submission?
results= CRAP!
it's not the person who didn't do their part was the one who get scold,
it's the whole group instead.
after that, for those who didn't do their part won't even realize what adjustments they needed to do.
even if others advised them, they won't give a damn about it.

how are we gonna reach a "good teamwork" level then?
will the lecturers/tutors understand?
no, they just have "result" in mind since every one of them are so "results-orientated".
if we tell them of our problems,
what they'll answer: "that's your problem, you solve it out by yourself among your group."
will they care? think again.

I did more than what I'm capable of, and I end up getting all these craps by myself.
all the sacrifices I made for the contribution of our teamwork ends up getting nothing.

1 month left.
approximately 1 month left, for the 2nd trip there.
the epic thing is, I didn't make any preparations for it.
thanks to all the bloody shit crap that I need to handle of. yay! great! *sarcasm*
I made myself look like a blood-thirsty zombie just wanna get my life out of this insanity.
I felt so useless and hopeless.
when I put my all, it all doesn't seem to be working.

I just wanna find a space, for me to shout, and cry.