Empty

first time ever,

I'm feeling so weak,

feeling so useless.

Demotivated.

Somehow, the things I love to do the most, becomes the things that I do not have the energy doing on.

what's going on?

WHAT WENT WRONG?

something must have went wrong somewhere.

too many things happened in this few months.

everything was so quick in pace.

sometimes can't even give myself some time to catch a breath, or to think.

just graduated from my diploma not long ago.

and also, went to Taiwan to participate in the well-known The Million Star singing competition.

and yeah, I've lost.

personal feelings after the competition?

well, made me think of why I get to joined that competition in the first place.

my own opinion? everything's too fast for me.

I might not be ready for it yet.

I mean, "ME" instead of my singing "me".

but, I don't wanna regret on didn't try going through these kind of stuff.

cause chances doesn't come twice.

when there is one, grab it!

and competitions like these makes me know that, nothing comes easy.

outwardly, it seems to be only a singing competition.

but while competing in it, it's NOT JUST a singing competition.

it's living under a cruel reality.

the socialization between contestants, the organizer, the public, your friends and family, or anyone else.

sometimes you just can't do the things you want or sing the ones you love to.

which makes a lotta things are restricted indirectly/directly.

first I thought that,

things can go real smooth as planned or as expected.

but somehow, things turned another way round.

felt unexpected, for real.

you ask me if I feel down/sad? yes.

but WHAT CAN I DO?

not that everyone can help me do something about it.

you know what?

I should let myself disappear once in a while.

so that I would not be someone else's problem.

just to let you know,

I may be a 慢半拍 type of person, but I'm trying to do better!