Can you hear me calling you?

I see a strange face in the mirror
A faded look in the eyes
Smiling is only a twisted movement of the lips
Who can understand my loneliness deep inside?

Like a boat rocking in the sea
Even the North Star cannot be seen
Who can set sails and forever leave this dark lake?


Sometimes, I think nobody can truly understand
All the pain I harboured inside
Fearful of using a sincere heart to face the world
Instead I have become more and more silent

A person floating in the sea
The person who is talking cannot be seen
Who can give me a warm embrace?
When I feel my heart's beginning to break


Please tell a tired and lonely me,
That you will always be waiting for me.

The moments

it's already 320am yet I haven't sleep.
just came back from BBQ with a big group of people today.
we also have Mr. Julius with us.
and guess what? he plays guitar too. cool! :D
something in common.
we hangout together, sing together, laugh together, get crazy together.
it's quite fun though.
it's a day where everyone gets to hangout in a group after a stressful period of time.
everybody's having a good time relaxing and enjoying the party.
some went back early.
while the others stay up until the end of the BBQ party.
okay, that's all for the BBQ part.

something's on my mind for the whole night just now.
you know, I miss you again.
I have no idea why.
不能说的心声，只能想念你.

oh well, it's time for bed now.
quite "early" anyways.
340 in the morning.
gotta take some good rest.

Serenity

Now I only get to know,

how serenity feels like.

I've never had this kind of feeling before in my life.

It feels good, really really good.

How I wish,

that I'm stuck here,

where serenity remains forever.

A place where I can get away from all of the madness of the world,

a place which everything is simple, no complications whatsoever.

A place called, Serenity.

Yeah, I like it. :)

I hope you'll get much better from your sickness.

Hope to meet you soon.

Though I may not know when. :)

no strings attached

看来，让我停留在我自己的梦里吧。

什么都别说，我不想懂。

至少我还拥有美丽的梦。

终于明白，该放手。

I.Miss.You

finally, a day that I can actually take some rest.

quite busy for these few days so didn't have the time to update Mr. Bloggie here.

I have no idea what am I actually wanting to say so far.

when people gets exhausted, they tend to be silent.

and that's what I've been throughout this whole time.

Maybe that's also one of the reason why people been saying that I don't hangout with my classmates anymore.

I usually walk alone.

besides hangout with him, when he has events to handle, I've been alone all the time.

though he's random,

Days past by and it's been quite some time now.

Yes, I miss you, again.

Don't dare to bother you, it's because I'm afraid you'll think that I'm annoying.

Don't dare to find you so often, it's because maybe I'm not the person that you wanna talk to.

Blame myself for being so 自作多情.

Don't dare to say anything out, because...

because...

I have no idea how to tell you.

I'm afraid that I'll be disappointed in the end.

I guess, I'll just keep this to myself.

Simplicity

That night, where everyone comes together.
To gather at a place, on a simple table.
To have dinner together.
To hangout together.
To enjoy the simple yet fun and caring moments together.
Many foods were prepared and my tummy end up full-house already.
The chit-chats, dinner, singing, durian feast.
Thank you, you, you, you, and yes, YOU too!
Thanks a lot for the great dinner.
Thanks a lot for the great durian feast.
Thanks a lot for a great night. :)
Thinking back, how often do we have the chance to do this?
Nahhhh, why bother thinking of how.
Looking forward for more of this moments. ;)

我，只能想念你

The whole song, is a total </3 of the heart.

I heart this song.

When I first heard this song,

somehow having a connection with it.

Tells a lot of what I've been through before.

It makes a reminiscence out of myself.

Wanted to say the words out, end up didn't work.

The words just doesn't come out.

When I always get to see you, what I can say is,

I can only miss you, and nothing else.

Blame myself for not having the courage to tell you so.

Maybe there's a fear of having disappointments after I say it out.

It's impossible to say it.

Yes, I MISS YOU!

feelings that I didn't notice.

I can be tough, I can be strong.

But with you, it's not like that at all.

I miss you.
Yeah, I wish you were here.
but too bad, it didn't happen.
Somehow, things didn't go as expected today.
Did my best yet the outcome was in another way round.
Just finished a performance before this and then all of these things come at the right time.
So-not-a-good-time.
Everything goes on last minute, last minute, last minute.
I'm really a fail leader.

A brand new lesson

It's 7.40pm, not for long after I come back from Sg. Wang.

Had a brand new lesson for me throughout this competition.

Although it's just a small competition,

but yes, competitions no matter big or small ones,

molds us, to be even better, and stronger than before.

Thank you for those who given me advice that none other people that's given me before.

It's something that I've lost.

I will find it back!

somehow, didn't get a really good result today. lol.

main problem is the sound system that they adjust last minute.

but still, I take this thing positively cause I know that, I still have a long way to go.

It's not the right time for me.

For God knows when's the best time after all. ;)

Thinking about getting 3rd place, it also means that I still have lots more space to develop myself.

not trying to deceive myself about it, so it's actually a good thing for me. =)

Praise the Lord, for giving me this. =)

The only thing I feel sorry is for those who come and support me just now.

I guess you guys are quite disappointed about it, so sorry about it.

I'll do my best in the coming performances(who knows when).

By then, I'll mold myself, do my best to increase my own ability, to be much much stronger.

In the dark, yet only one light remains.

Didn't know that I'd still be up at this time.

I'm suppose to be on bed sleeping now.
Somehow I woke up,
not because I wanted to.
I ter-bangun myself.
and with a big headache on the back part of my head.
happen often for these few days.
I don't know why.
It's been a tough period of time.
Yet I'm doing my best in all times to keep holding on.
I'm not sure how long I can keep on like this.
Feels like I'm gonna drop real soon.
This coming week will be another tough time.
Last remaining assignments and mid terms coming at the same time.
Just the day after the competition is over.
It's gonna be a so-dead time for me.
But I believe and have faith that God is always with me.
The harder the things I face in life,
the more I rely on Him.
I need to find back, the things I've lost.
before the world eats me off.
Had a great talk with her this afternoon after lecture.
Didn't know it will be after so long we'd had this great conversation.
You know who you are. =)
Thanks for the chat though.
There are few more assignments+presentations+mid terms to go.
God's grace to be upon my life!
I proclaim His promise into my life!
and I shall see it come to past!

it's................gone

                                                    I can't be who you are.


I've tried forgetting all the hurts inside.
I've learned it so well.
ever since I'm small.
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself.


YES I CAN!


No, I can't.
true enough, sorry, I can't be who you are.



今天，她跟我说了一句。
让我突然的被敲醒了。
从来都没想过，一路以来都拿学业和功课来麻醉自己。
在没有我的留意之中，
其实，我失去了“他”。
I have to find back, something which I lost.
I have to find back, something which is gone.
I have to find back my energy, passion and self-confidence.
It's gonna be a self-journey here.


I don't know how.
I can't find it through other people.
You know why?
Here's the UGLY truth.

PEOPLE WILL FAIL.

给我一个理由忘记。。。

 雨都停了 這片天灰什麼呢

                                                            我還記得 你說我們要快樂

                                                            深夜裡的腳步聲 總是刺耳

                                                     害怕寂寞 就讓狂歡的城市陪我關燈

                                                   只是哪怕周圍再多人 感覺還是一個人

                                                          每當我笑了 心卻狠狠的哭著

看来，

这一段已经说出了我的心声。 *心碎*

看来，

当你要很彻底的忘记一个人时，

是需要一个很大的勇气来这么做。

First step, into a new land

Yeah,
for so long,
this is my first time,
to step into the world of blogging.
Already read a lot of other people's blogs.
to listen to their stories.


I suppose,
everyone should have their own stories as well,right?
That is why I'm starting mine here.
First-timer.
This is my first step,
to a whole new beginning,
of telling my own stories.
It's never too late to leave a mark in your life in something.
only if you DESIRE for a CHANGE.

"Living"

After so long, I've finally know the true meaning of "living" after I've stepped into a new land. 

A land which is far more bigger, 

a land which is far more advance, 

a land which has great competitions.

It's tough, suffering, and miserable. 

Where people has high expectations over you.

Especially when you always take the role as a leader.

Everyone will look up to you.

But eventually when the chips are down,

when people needed you,

counting at you,

putting their last hope on you,

you'll feel hopeless when you realize you can't do anything,

and end up everything got crushed in the end.

people's hope on you,

people's expectations on you,

people's trust on you.

Sorry, I'm not a good leader.

I'm just a normal person,

who's learning how to lead,

without anything in hand,

and without anything with me.

Sorry,my friends, my family, and even the ones I love.

I am Yao, Rockoutloud.